we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
