Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
