so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
