You smell like stripper and shame
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
