I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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