he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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