spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
