Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
