I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize
