Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Less talking, more tequila
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
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