Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
A+ Viking dick
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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