Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
