I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
