the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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