I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
foreskin is a definite game changer
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
