If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
