it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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