im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
