The maid of honor just puked.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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