fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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