Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
