Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
