I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
