Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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