You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
