I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize