Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
