Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
