Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize
