I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
