You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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