Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
