im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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