I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Randomize