I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
