carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize