Your dad touched me again.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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