I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
