I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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