I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
