Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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