he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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