DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize