I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
