I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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