She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You can't motorboat a personality
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
