god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
