u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
