Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize