Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
