Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
