what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
