he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Acid is not a monday night drug
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
