he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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