? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
