So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
smell my finger.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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