Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
