When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
