you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
