I don't remember. Are we still dating?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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