He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
