i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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