Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
