I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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