my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
